The 10 most powerful things I can teach you
I’m always asked HOW exactly I transform so many women’s health, small businesses and lives through my coaching and programs.
And so I thought I’d put a quick read blog together, to share the 10 most powerful things I teach my clients. And it’s indeed the stuff I’d wish they’d teach more people at school and in the work place… because it really is a life and joy game changer!
1. You can always change the end of your story – Never EVER get stuck in your current reality. Everyone has the capacity to change, improve, up level, overhaul, simplify and enjoy all areas of their life. You may need time, you may need help, but you CAN change the end of your story – whether health, purpose, fulfillment, relationships, happiness, financial, physical, emotional and spiritual. I see this all the time with my clients on every program I run. But you’ve got to remind yourself that anything and everything is possible – and get excited about the future or changes you want! There are always going to be dark times and plot twists – things that are out of your control that can make you feel trapped. But moments and years pass in the blink of an eye. AND you can still find joy in every day when things feel tough – I should know, I’m the plot twist queen! But I’ve always managed to get through the crazy times with a smile on my face whilst still being excited and enthusiastic about what lies ahead AND, trusting myself that I’ve got a life tool kit to take me where I want to be. We have a saying on my BEST program, that the “Rest of your life CAN be the BEST of your life”.
2. Challenge all unhelpful thoughts – We have about 60-80,000 of them a day and most we are generally unaware of. Thoughts are JUST thoughts and can be changed! Thoughts are usually a result of default programming, beliefs and habits. But we listen to them, latch on to them and create more of the same kind. Then they build and build and become stronger and stronger. I used to live my life with a barrage of horrid, unhelpful and nit-picking thoughts – sitting on my shoulder all day long. And they made me feel rubbish about myself, my potential AND my life. If you suffer from low self-esteem, low confidence and low mood? Are full of fear, doubt and worry? Look at your thoughts. My world changed completely when I learnt to master my thoughts and that’s actually why I ended up as a mindset coach! And on my BEST program, people always say “Why was I not taught this at school?!”. Repeat after me “A thought is just a thought and I can change my thoughts!”. On my BEST:Business program, one of the core principles is teaching them to simply think differently about themselves and their businesses. The result? Business freedom, more confidence and much more enjoyment and success – which is how business (and life!) should be!
3. Stop comparing yourself to others – Comparison is actually a form of self-abuse and self-sabotage. And it is the biggest creativity, enjoyment and freedom crusher – whether in your health, business/work or life. Firstly, people don’t compare like for like – and most people make up all sorts of fake facts (mind-reading) about how the other person is living, feeling and doing, just by looking at them – or at a photo or social media post. And then they fill in the blanks. Plus, most people are comparing their own back of house with someone else’s front of house. The two are incomparable so stop. Then you need to challenge what you assume is the truth and ask whether it’s actually total fiction made up by you?! Putting your focus on you and using the “blinker” mindset – focusing on YOUR path and not being distracted by others and things around you – changes everything. When you compare, you spend an awful lot of time putting your focus on others. By all means learn from others who have what you want (and on that note really challenge whether that IS actually what you want). But don’t make them better and your worse.
4. You really never know someone’s actual back of house – The woman you think has the perfect body might have an eating disorder and hate herself. The business you’re comparing yourself to might have lots of likes and shares on social media but might not be making any money. The couple that look like they’re living the perfect life, might be in marriage counseling and on anti-depressants. The earth mother who seems to be nailing parenting might in fact hate being a mother. And the confident business owner might be riddled with imposter syndrome and full of anxiety! One of the greatest things about my job is that I get to see a lot of women’s back of house. And let me tell you it’s hardly ever what you think! Most people don’t share their true back of house with their close friends, work colleagues, families and even partners. One of my 2020 BEST program clients Irina Childs, on my “Breathe Life Into” Instagram interview series, talks about how hearing other women’s back of house was one of the most eye-opening things she’s experienced. Which helped her challenge how she saw herself and life in general. Always remind yourself that not only do more people have a back of house similar to yours but also there are other people looking at you, comparing their back of house with your front of house!
5. You are unique, so never forget that – A couple of years ago on my BEST program, my co-coach Gill Harvey Bush said “There will never, ever be another one of you on the planet again. EVER” And my goodness did that stir some emotion and cause some tears! People are often too busy looking at others or doing what’s expected of them, trying to be what or who they think they should be and do. And they forget that by embracing who they are, JUST AS THEY ARE, and putting all their attention on their strengths and wins (rather than the weaknesses and imperfections) life changes, it feels better. There is a place for everyone in this world. Read that again. There is also a place for every business in the world. But this happens by people focusing on their unique attributes and contributions to the world, focusing on what makes them shine bright and feel alive. And in business, by really tapping into your own USP and not trying to be everything to anyone. Can you imagine a world where everyone could be themselves and focussed and built their strengths, purpose and passions? WOW.
6. To get a different result, you need a different approach – The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. If you want something and what you’re doing isn’t working – change tactic. Take your dreams and goals seriously. Really seriously! And remember that goals and dreams don’t need to be big and scary! A successful or optimum health, business or life, looks very different to everyone. My advice if you’re struggling? Get help. Invest in yourself. Properly. And show up! Ask yourself what you really WANT. Not what you know. Don’t worry about the how – someone can help you with that! Work out what you want and then learn whatever you need to help you make that happen. People (especially women!) are terrible at investing in themselves. The biggest improvements and breakthroughs I’ve had in my life are where I’ve put my hand in my pocket (even when I couldn’t afford to), by asking myself not whether I can afford it, but in fact whether I could afford not to! Another quick tip, never look at price as a price, look at the VALUE you gain. Which is often priceless when you really think about it!
7. There is never a quick fix – In a world where everything is RIGHT NOW, the biggest mistake I see people make is putting the pressure on themselves to create change or get results as quickly as possible. But in my experience – and I’ve been doing this a long time – setting yourself a longer time frame to change something, and pacing yourself… giving yourself permission to take your time and enjoy the journey – is where it’s at! You learn much more this way as well – and often that means the outcome is not only better but long-lasting! The problem is we are programmed with so many unhelpful subliminal suggestions, that not getting change and results quickly and NOW equals we aren’t good enough. That there must be something wrong with us. That we aren’t motivated enough, we’re getting it wrong. The very unhelpful “all or nothing” mindset is also bred from this concept too. I must do things now and I must be 100% focused and perfect, otherwise I might as well give up is something I see so much in my coaching practice. I encourage my clients to make mistakes and feel GOOD about them. Because that’s how you learn! So take your time, embrace the imperfections and wobbles. And always see yourself as work in progress and with a growth mindset!
8. Small things add up – Again, default programming means a lot of people think that to change your life or components of your life, that you need to do BIG things. Or extremes. Or to completely change. Sure to change you have to change. BUT… small consistent steps often add up to really big things! This can be from gently overriding thoughts each day, listening to one inspiring audio each week (why my clients LOVE my programs as most content can be listened to on the go!). And the art of consistency is really under-estimated. On BEST and BEST:Business, I teach the “Seinfield Strategy”. Gerry Seinfield was asked how he became so successful as a writer, comedian and producer (now worth millions and millions of dollars). And he said it’s simple. I write everyday. No matter what. Sometimes it’s 11 hours, sometimes it’s 15 minutes. But I do something everyday. So my advice is to always start with one thing that you know will make a difference. And make it a non-negotiable daily habit. Create a pattern on your calendar by putting a big X on it when done. Things like having a glass of veg juice every morning… Writing 10 positive thoughts at the start of each day… Power walking walk 30 minutes every evening before dinner… Reading an inspiration business book once a month. Trust me, all these things over a year, five years, ten years or more, will make a HUGE difference.
9. Always know your MAGIC WHY – And it has to be magic. Not the usual regurgitated, un-inspirational nonsense. But the wonderful, soul sparking stuff! Step into the identity of the person, situation or life you want to have / be. Visualise what that means for you, who else benefits, all the wins, joys and gains that happen as a result. How you’ll feel, how you’ll believing your life day to day and why that feels so amazing. What you’ll be able to experience and enjoy more as a result. If in business, how will you spend your income? Not ‘rent and bills and savings’; that stuff WON’T motivate you when the going gets tough! Plan your favourite holiday, imagine your new home, the peace of mind you’ll have from having financial freedom or whatever the goal is for you. I want to live until I’m 90. I want to be the old lady swimming in the sea where I live in Sidmouth all year round without a wetsuit. I’ve visually taken myself to that place, I’ve connected with what that means on all sorts of levels. I will have ticked off everything on my bucket list (studying in New York for a year in my sixties, travelling around the world on a mid life gap year and visiting all the places I saw when I did this when I was 21, having some best selling books under my belt, getting through my holiday wish list that I’ve created to name a few). Thinking of my children growing up and me being a kick ass granny, having another 46 Christmases to enjoy (I love Christmas). THIS stuff is what motivates me to do things that take me to this place, some of which are hard, many of which are out my comfort zone!
10. You have to be on your own side – I high five myself as I walk past the mirror and say “Well done Janey!”. And at the end of the day (well actually often about 3/4pm!) I have this saying when I decide I’ve done enough work or house stuff… “Janey you are enough and you’ve done enough”. And I stop doing and start being. I teach on BEST, you are a human being, not a human doing. And on BEST:Business, the importance of drawing a line with your work. Because as an entrepreneur, there are always things you can do! Being your own inner cheer leader, taking command of your boundaries, putting yourself first, really is your super power, that most people don’t realise is there. Don’t ever wait for external validations and compliments to make you feel good. Yes they’re nice to get. But if you’re not giving them to yourself, you’ll never have that true inner confidence and inner-ganster! Oh and one last thing.. Learn to say NO more! My life became more easy and enjoyable and my business became mores successful too, the more I learnt to say NO. You can learn to say no more very simply by a) not worrying what people think think of you (because what others think of you is none of your business and quite frankly your life is not their life) and b) asking yourself the consequences of you saying yes (because when you say yes to something, you are indirectly saying no to something else!).
If you’ve never worked with me before and would like to experience my style of coaching, here are some free options for you!
My “Ideas to Income” challenge is running 3rd-5th Feb – CLICK HERE for more details. This is going to be a hugely uplifting challenge to help people turn ideas into reality (simply and enjoyably too!)
My “Must have mindset for a great year ahead” masterclass took place a few weeks back – CLICK HERE for the replay
And my “How to make your business more successful and enjoyable” from the start of January – CLICK HERE for the replay
If you have any questions, please let me know (firstname.lastname@example.org) and if you’re not already you can follow me on Instagram and Facebook – @janeyhollidaycoaching
Hope you enjoyed these tips!
PS I also recently created a January Lift Off Challenge – inspiring women to walk 100 miles in a month whilst listening to inspirational audios. I’m extending it until the end of Feb or beyond (as it’s been so successful!). All details HERE, it’s free to join and also comes with a power walking Ebook, 7 free audios from me, a podcast recommendation list and a closed FB group!