Can you buy confidence? Yes you can!
Last year, I sent out a survey based on women’s lifestyle and mindset challenges, because I really wanted to see where women needed support and help. Over 250 women completed the survey and I was blown away by how many women deemed confidence as one of their top issues that stopped them becoming the best versions of themselves and really doing or achieving what they wanted to in life.
What I find with my clients is that women (and men for that matter!), often don’t have clarity on what confidence is about, what confidence means to them, self-limiting beliefs they have around confidence, why they are confident in some areas of their life but not others, the difference between inner and outer confidence and how fear, comparison, self sabotage, not truly knowing themselves and their beliefs, focusing on weaknesses not strengths and listening to internal negative messages are what lower confidence levels dramatically, often for life!
The great thing is, confidence can improve massively with the right approach, especially when people are supported by those that know HOW. That’s why I’ve created a 5-week audio-based Confidence program with Psychologist and NLP practitioner Gill Harvey-Bush. For those interested, read all about our fab program outline HERE and in the mean time, here are some top tips to get your confidence levels up and your fear levels down!
Know your values – Having confidence is very much based around knowing your values and who the authentic you is. When you’re clear on this and you start living life on your terms, doing the things you really, really want to, confidence levels rise.
Get clear on what it is that you want around confidence– What does confidence mean to you? How would your life change if you had more confidence? Get as specific as you can. Not just what you want, but what you need to do (and get help with). You don’t wake up one morning and suddenly have confidence, it needs to be pulled out of you sometimes and not only that, you may need to invest in yourself to become stronger in any areas you know you can become even better in.
Accept your weaknesses and improve your strengths– OK this is a big one. It is a well known fact that people put more focus on what they’re not good at instead of the other way around. We cannot be good at all things. I am great at lots of things. But absolutely rubbish in others. And I’m absolutely cool with that. Personally, my confidence levels rocketed when I realized this! Ask me to speak in front of 500 people or come up with a new lifestyle program and I’m in my element. Ask me to strategise and deal with financial figures, well I can do it to a certain level, but not only am I not good at it, I don’t enjoy it,. How many of you are struggling with something you don’t even enjoy. Can you imagine if all your time and energy was spent on focusing (and most importantly DEVELOPING!) our strengths. People think to get more confidence they need to fix weaknesses, WRONG! Leave the weaknesses behind or to one side and get stuck into the things you are good at and enjoy!
Do not worry what others think of you – I love this quote “Confidence isn’t walking into a room with your nose in the air and thinking you are better than anyone else. It’s walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anyone else in the first place” When we worry what others think of us or compare ourselves to others, we make them better and us bad. This is why people fall apart at presentations, won’t change jobs because other people want different things for them than they want for themselves so they don’t do what’s true to them but what sits well in other people’s souls. This is nuts! Comparison is the thief of joy, Roosevelt once said and it’s the thief of confidence too. I’m not sure people are entirely convinced yet between comparison and lack of confidence. But trust me, it is huge!
Jump into the pool! – Think of a young child and the first time they find the strength and confidence to jump in to a big pool by themselves. They are on the edge for ages. The fear is strong and it’s the unknown. But they desperately want to do it, because they know that once they’ve done it, their life will change for the better, forever. There’s still all this resistance, because they are playing negative images in their minds like the ‘what-ifs’, but they really want it. Badly. But the fear is there and no matter what, the fear will always be there until they take the plunge! Once you take that plunge in your life and get out your comfort zone, you will wonder why the hell you waited so long! So many people are on the edge of that pool, so close to getting what they truly want, but they’re stuck. Jump in, go down the slide and go get the life that you deserve!
The confidence program starts on Monday 9th November and we finish on Friday 11th December, just in time for you to kick back for Christmas and make 2016 your most confident yet!
A good question to ask yourself is ‘how would your life change if you had the confidence to do what you really want?’ and my guess is pretty spectacularly!
If any of you have time, I have a short online anonymous survey (just 10 questions) around confidence, if you can spare 5 minutes I’d love you to fill it in so I can be up to date with current confidence issues! CLICK HERE to fill it out.
Have a great week :o)
Janey x
