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Excuses, excuses!

OK so as a coach, I flip between being supportive and as inspirational as possible to giving some clients a swift kick up the backside to help them get to where they say they want to get to. And today, I’ve got my butt-kicking mode on!

Yes often we can’t do things, or we choose not to do things for genuine reasons and as human beings, it’s good that we do that from time to time. Sometimes, the time isn’t right and sometimes we need to prioritise other things.

But OMG we are very good at coming up with excuses that quite frankly are often lame AND we know it! But also sometimes excuses come from inbuilt messages and survival mechanisms we teach ourselves that have protected us in the past. So in this blog I want to break down 10 excuses for you all to help you get to where you want to get, enjoy!

Here are the top 5 GENERAL excuses I hear, with some little Janey responses for you to consider:

I have no time – We all have the same amount of hours in the day. Everything we do we choose, we can adjust things, be more efficient in some areas, let things go in others or heaven for bid say NO! to something.   Never use not having enough time as a reason for not doing something.  First, look at what you could take out to free up some more time, rather than saying you don’t have any and you’ll be amazed at the hours you can create!

I can’t afford it – I prefer to suggest people think of this from the opposite perspective.. Can you afford not to? As above, we can all adjust it, be more efficient with our spending, sell things we don’t use easily and borrow money with 0% deals. One client I know just organized a 0% cash transfer to pay for BEST via Barclaycard. She borrowed £361 with a 1.9% handling fee of £6.86, so £367.86 in total and has now set up a direct debit back to her between February and December (11 months) of 33.44 so that is paid back before interest rates kick in. When I retrained to become an online coach, I was literally bankrupt and my online course cost $1000. I couldn’t afford it but I couldn’t afford not to. I put it on my credit card and it hurt! But it created the change I wanted and needed and was worth every penny. Read my INVEST IN YOURSELF blog for more info!

I’m too busy at work – do NOT use work (especially if you don’t like it and you’re working for someone else!) as an excuse not to get the body / health / life you want. What are your values? What are your priorities? What would happen if you got really sick or ill tomorrow? People have such terrible boundaries when it comes to work but thankfully more companies are realizing that employees do more for the company when they have a better work-life balance ethos. If you run your own business, you can command your own time – I learnt this the hard way. Work is important but not at the cost of your health or having an amazing life!

I need to wait until – I hear this so much! The builders have finished, my parents-in-law have gone home, my child starts sleeping better, my kids start / leave school, this work project is over. There is never a right time to have a baby, set up a business and/or do something you want to do, there really isn’t! So don’t wait and procrastinate, just get on with it and have less fear!

I’m afraid that – Fear doesn’t ever go away until you actually step through the things you’re afraid of doing! The ‘what if’ language can be used to our advantage if we replace things like ‘What if I fail’ with “And what if I don’t” straight afterwards! I always use the swimming pool analogy. I’ll never forget seeing my son Monty (the little twin as he’s known), watch Harry his twin brother jump in off the side of the pool. He SOOOO wanted to do it and for days on one holiday he used to stand at the side of the pool with us wishing him all to take the plunge. Eventually he did and the fear he had only went because he did it. He stepped into the unknown and that was that. He was 4 at the time and that jump changed the way he swims forever. How many of you (whether 30, 40, 50, 60, 70) are like my son on the edge of the pool, knowing you want to do something but are afraid? Step through fear, it’s the only way!

Fall to fly

And here are some excuses that specifically relate to my 40 week BEST program with my take next to them:

I’m worried about the fact it’s 40 weeks long – OK so how quickly has January whizzed past? Honestly, I’ve run BEST twice now and it literally flashes by! Firstly because it makes you feel good and you know the saying time flies when you’re having fun?! And secondly because you’re not studying each night for 40 weeks! You’re listening to an audio a couple of times a week that you can listen to on the go or in the bath. 40 weeks is nothing in a lifetime and so many people forget this. We’re not a quick fix business with a quick fix approach here because the quick fix fails us all

I think I’m too busy to put in what I need to do to make it work – Are you? You think you’re too busy? Either you are or you aren’t. Either you’ll make the time or you won’t. The ‘I think’ language is weak and it tricks the brain into getting out of things. Take command of your time and indeed your language by being stronger to do the things you actually want to do!

What if I do it and it doesn’t change anything? As above and what if it does? And even if it didn’t (and I promise you it will), ask yourself what is the worst thing that could happen? You could ring me and tell me and we could discuss your options. If you knew the program was good but you weren’t actually doing it, you could waste £39 a month. Well you get to keep all audios and resources for life so there isn’t really anything to waste. Go into a program believing that it will change and you will do it and guess what, you will!

I’ve got a habit of not following through and completing things? Well then you definitely need to do a program like BEST! Because we unravel all your core beliefs / patterns / self sabotage issues that will not only make you want to follow through but actually follow through. People tend not to finish things off because they have a core belief they can’t be successful or indeed they’ve told themselves (or someone else has) that they don’t follow through. You won’t ever follow through until you know how to retrain your mind to think and behave differently – the core of what BEST is!

What if I want to change my life so much it affects others – Oooh this is a goody! Women are so bad at putting themselves first and often lead a life around others’ needs, wishes and dreams because they think they have to. BEST isn’t about making women rude and super selfish, but it’s about helping them work out what they authentically want from their lives and also how to implement it by communicating properly (where many go wrong!), making adjustments slowly and giving women confidence to be themselves and go out and get what they want. And what if it does affect others by you wanting to change your life. Are you living their life or your life?!

This is what you need to ask yourself and this alone:  

Do you want to do it ? (BEST/ any program / bootcamp / road trip / get a new job / whatever! YES or NO

If NO, don’t do it and move on, make peace with your decision and that’s the end of it.

If YES, say yes, with no but afterwards!

Hatch a plan, commit to it and make it work.

Create the time, prioritise it and adjust your life around it.

Then reap the rewards as a result.

If you really want something you can always find a way to make it work, please do not forget this, OK!

So stop the excuses and just make a decision. Do you want something or not?

Don’t over complicate it, don’t over think it and certainly don’t sabotage it with fears of failure (or in many cases fear of success as we teach on BEST).

As always, my office line is open for anyone to call me to ask questions. Please take me up on this offer! I have no interest in getting people on my programs if it is the wrong program for them!

I spoke to six girls in the last week who were thinking of doing BEST and five decided to take the plunge because I listened to where they were at in their lives, pushed back on them and asked some good questions around what they wanted to achieve, made sure they weren’t brushing things under the carpet and challenged some ridiculous excuses they’d come up with to the point many were laughing out loud! One girl, definitely the program wasn’t for her, I’ve referred her to my co-coach Gill for some 1:1s instead.

We can all create excuses, but the biggest tip I can suggest is that when you hear yourself saying something that sounds like an excuse, ask yourself in a big loud voice…. REALLY?

Have a fabulous week everyone!

Janey x

 

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