Gratitude swap shop

If you read my last blog, you’ll know that I’d been though a bit of a weak / emotional time recently. It doesn’t happen very often and when it does, it usually only takes me a few days to claw back my energy and Mary Poppins mindset!

I was overwhelmed with the response from clients and even people I didn’t know saying thank you for sharing such personal words and feelings. One thing I was really surprised about was how many people had said it had made them more grateful for what they had. One woman said ‘ I’ve been a right cow to my husband all summer long, but when I read your blog, I realized just how lucky I am, thank you!”. Something else stood out too, one client said “I can’t have children and we just have to work with what we’ve got and try to make peace with it”. Very powerful and very wise words.

One client said, “You might be a bit flat, want more time for you and wonder if you’ll ever find a nice man, but I’m like that, 40 and single. I want children, but I’ve ploughed all my focus into work, don’t know how and if I’ll ever have children and I hate my job!”

One of the things that I did to get myself into a better place was to focus on what I call gratitude and attitude. Instead focusing on the difficult things in your life and what you don’t have, focus on what you do have, what you’ve achieved so far, and as I said in my last blog, have more compassion for yourself, congratulate yourself on what you’ve achieved, rather than focusing on what you haven’t done or being critical to yourself.

Here’s how…

You’ve only got to look at the atrocities in Syria to see how lucky we are to live in a safe country. I live in a nice house, I have enough food to eat (and nice food at that), and I’m not under any serious life-threatening stress. Nothing we can be going through on an emotional level can even come close to what women are going through over there. Seeing that chemical warfare attack, really helped me put things in perspective.  If we lost our businesses or our homes, we would still be safe, most of us would have somewhere to go. No major threat.

We often compare ourselves to those above us, better than us, what the media portrays we should be / have / do. For some clients I know, they compare themselves to skinny friends, clever siblings and hang on to things that someone once said in the past (usually someone that wasn’t really that important in the grand scheme of things either!).

Here is my gratitude swap shop to inspire you all to feel better, whatever your situation:

  1. If you want a better body, put your focus on how you want to be, not where you are and you’ve not achieved yet. Focus on the fact you can get any body you want and put aside the past failures around that. Don’t focus on celebrity bodies in the media, focus on what YOU want.
  2. If you want more money, instead of focusing on on the debt you have and the bank balance you don’t want., focus on what you do want to earn and make. Set yourself a goal and move forwards. Focus on prosperity. What you focus on you get.
  3. If you are dissatisfied with your work, be happy with the fact you have a job, and focus on creating change. Use that dissatisfaction to drive you forwards, but be happy with what you have now. If you walk around saying ‘I hate my job’ that will bring about bad energy. It’s far better to think / say “It’s been an experience, but I am going to work towards a new career / company” and ask yourself ‘WHAT CAN I DO to create the change I want?”.
  4. If you want to find a partner, don’t focus on the reasons why you might not be able to, why you haven’t yet or why someone might not be interested in you. Focus on the fact that you will find someone one day, that you are worthy of meeting someone great – whatever your circumstances are and that simple shift will make a big difference.
  5. If you children drive you mad, think about Syria, think about what happened in that nursery last year in the States when all those little children were gunned down. Having children is hard, but not harder than losing them forever
  6. If you can’t have children, focus on all the great things you can have in your life without having children. I know many happy people who decided to make peace with the fact that they couldn’t have them or chose not to have them

If you want something, go and get it, just because you don’t have it yet shouldn’t mean that you focus on the fact that you don’t. Work out what life you want and go and get it with every inch if your being.  But being grateful for what you have, and focusing on where you want to go, rather than looking at what you don’t have or haven’t achieved yet, is one of the most simplest switches you can make.

Also give yourself some time. I am guilty of wanting to rush change and achievements. One of the biggest breakthroughs I’ve had recently has been to put my foot on the brakes instead of the gas pedal. And I’ve actually just re-adjusted a big work project and out it back because I want to have a good work-life balance and if I run myself in to the ground I’m useless to those who rely on me – my clients, my children, my family, and of course myself.

We all have blips and doubts along the way, but the fact is this. If you are in a place of negativity or bitterness, it manifests itself in all areas of your life. Work with yourselves, encourage yourselves and push yourselves along your life’s path, whatever that may be.  Being grateful for what you have and proud of what you’ve done to date is the starting point for some serious energy. Let all those niggles of should have, would have, could have, why etc get out of your way.

As I was reminded recently, you get one life, so life it well. Live it well in the moment too. Many people are so busy looking ahead at goals and dreams, that they forget some of the best parts of our lives, are always in the right here, right now.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.” Melody Beattie

Janey x

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