As humans, one of our most intelligent survival systems is fear – the ability to anticipate and detect danger, and we would quite literally be dead without it. BUT many of us are now ruled by emotional fear and what I call Modern Fear. Modern fear is the feeling of not wanting to be uncomfortable, or out of our comfort zone and not doing things that we think will be hard to deal with/cope with, perhaps facing up to things we have been avoiding, and letting things like money and materialism keep us awake at night. All these of course are NOT actually life threatening/danger fears and if people could start seeing the difference between ‘real’ fear and ‘fluffy’ fear they’d feel liberated. Let me explain…
On Monday, I start a course called Project Me, it’s all about helping women put themselves first, inspiring women to have more ME time, and helping women put the ‘have it all’ media mentality to one side and really focus on what they as an individual needs. It’s about having a better mindset, creating more time and energy, feeling better about money and the future, how to stop comparing ourselves and how to deal with and make positive compromises.
It’s an uplifting and inspiring motivational program with comprehensive support and I know that women’s lives will change for the better by taking part in the program. But do you know how many people have emailed or spoken to me and said, ‘I really want to do it but I’m too afraid’ or, ‘It looks so good but I’m not sure I’m ready to take responsibility and create changes’? Too many for my liking, that’s for sure!
Why is it that we are adverse to doing things that are ultimately good for us, BETTER for us even? Yet our fear stops us. If you are afraid of something, ask yourself what it is you’re truly afraid of? With Project Me, maybe it’s because you don’t want to take responsibility for where you are in your life right now – because sorry to say, you are where you are because of what you did/didn’t do, chose to be/not to be in the past. Perhaps it’s because you have an inbuilt self-sabotage resistance that means ultimately you don’t think you deserve to have a better life or a great life and so deliberately don’t go out and get it. Maybe you’re afraid of what change might bring, and what it might mean? All I can say is that it won’t kill you, it will actually enhance your life. My wonderful Nanna used to say, ‘if things don’t change, they’ll stop as they are’ and you know what? Never a truer word spoken.
On Monday at Fit for a Princess, we start an eight day running bootcamp on Clapham Common. Again, people I’ve taught out on the commons over the last few weeks have said, ‘I really want to do it but I’m terrified!’ or ‘What if I’m at the back all the time?”. I have two things I want to say about this 1) It won’t be as painful as childbirth and 2) If you don’t get out of your comfort zone and try something like this, you’ll always be at the back!
Also I’m a great believe in what you focus on you get (a big part of the Project Me course actually), if you focus on the fear and what you are giving up then that’s the feeling that will remain with you. But if you focus on what you might gain from taking part or creating change, you’ll start a positive chain reaction and I promise you the scary fearful feelings won’t be as strong. If you focus on how unfit you are and how everyone else is better than you, guess what, you’ll approach it like that and feel like the underdog. So turn that feeling on its head!
Accept that doing things that feel uncomfortable, will feel uncomfortable for a time, but it’s not torture or real pain, it’s called stepping out your comfort zone.
Think about the time a child first looks off the edge of a swimming pool, close your eyes and imagine what they do. They flit between dread and excitement, they know they can do it, they want to do it, their little feet move forwards, then backwards. A hand goes over their mouth, they might scream, ‘I can’t, I can’t!’ But then they’ll usually have words of encouragement from a peer or parent. ‘Go on, you can do it!’ And suddenly, a big deep breath later, they’ve jumped! Aaaahhh, the excitement, the celebrations, the empowerment, the ‘I can’t believe I just did that!’ feeling followed by smiles, endorphins and you’ve guessed it… They’ll never go back past that point again, they’ll be jumping off again and again, until it gest easier, they can do it with their eyes closed, jump backwards even!
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
And because I feel so passionately about women reaching their full potential, I will offer your money back on either the Project Me course or running bootcamp if you don’t feel your life is better from doing it by the end of the program.
You can do it. You know you want to. It’s easier than you think.