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VLOG: What to do when you feel like you’ve lost yourself

Recently, I’d been feeling really overwhelmed with life and to be honest a bit of a failure. Like I was juggling too many things and not doing any one of them very well. I was focusing on the things I wasn’t achieving, rather than the things I have and am capable of. And I’d lost a little bit of me. I was tired, feeling the pressure of modern day life, my kids were draining me, I was getting cranky, feeling really emotional and very stuck.

So I took a good look at what I needed to do (because I’m the solutions queen!) and decided to take myself away from the work/kids/home grind for 30 hours, to rejuvenate myself, reconnect with myself, my life and my goals and get the real Janey back! I read two great books, revisited my BEST program principles and had a good word with myself to do the things I teach my clients (ha ha even the ‘experts’ can have a dip sometimes!).

In my hotel room on the second day away, I made this little video to share to explain where I was at, how I spent my time wisely on this break and underneath I share the actionable points I’m going to do in my life from now to keep my sparkle. And I’ve also got some great self-coaching questions you can ask yourself to help you get yourself out of a little rut, should you be in one too!


My actionable points are the following:

  1. To have 30 hours every month to myself. Every other month is a space / reconnect one, the others a fun / let my hair down one.
  2. To spend 30-60 minutes three times a week to do some inspirational reading as a way of getting me in a fired up place when I start work.
  3. To get my au pair to take my daughter out all day on a Monday so I have peace and quiet in my home office to start the week.
  4. To increase my daughter’s hours at nursery two days a week now that she loves it there,  to give me more solid work time.
  5. To create a vision board in my office to get me pumped up about my capabilities, goals and dreams. On here there will be inspirational quotes, positive affirmations, photos, reminders and all that great stuff!
  6. Spend time at the start and the end of the day reconnecting with myself. I had started this in the summer and it made a huge difference, but it fell to the wayside as I got busier and busier. I’ve now scheduled this into my diary and day to day routine. Just 5 minutes makes such a difference.
  7. To take some time each week to think about what I stand for and what my mission is in life (work and personal). So that I’m excited again and opening up to opportunities that I might not be seeing.

If you are feeling the way I had been feeling, here are five sets of good questions to ask yourself…

  1. When can I take some time out of my busy life to reconnect with myself? Where will I go? What could I take with me to inspire and help me? When am I going to do this? In other words, make this happen!
  2. What are the reasons I’m feeling I’ve lost myself / am in a bit of a rut? Get as detailed and specific as you can.
  3. What can I do to turn this / these around? How could I think differently about my life? What could I choose to do differently, take out, do more of?
  4. How would this positively impact me? How would this impact my family / work / kids / friends / partner?
  5. What did I love to do as a child / growing up that I don’t do now? What did I stand for, value and want for myself? What’s within me that I’d forgotten about? What’s in my potential that I’ve been writing off?

Feel free to email me if you do the coaching questions above and you have questions or you want some accountability! And if you need ongoing help with turning your thoughts and life around, take a look at my BEST program which kicks off for the 6th year running on the 14th January 2019! It’s a whole year of life-changing inspiration, coaching and support 🙂

And finally this great quote…

“It’s not the falling down, but the staying down”.

I had temporarily fallen down, but I’ve well and truly got back up and you can too!

Janey x

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