Who is the boss of your life?
You may have noticed recently that my social media communications have been a little bit quiet (very unlike me!). All is well, I’ve just been reflecting. My twins started school this month and I’m not sure why but it really hit me emotionally. I think it was because it was the first time in five years (they also turned five this month), that I actually stopped and thought about where I was in my life, what I was doing, where I wanted to go and so on.
At first it was hard for me to work out what I needed to do, but I decided to take my own advice and give myself some breathing space. I realised that I should embrace this cross roads in my life rather than stress about it and so I adjusted some work plans and set to. Not doing, but being.
I took a few days off, went on long walks, stayed at my parents and relaxed and really gave myself some space. I made some quite big decisions, too. I said to my mum that I wanted to work part-time until Christmas. She said, ‘Can you afford it?’ and I said ‘I can’t afford not to’.
I needed some time, space and down time to become the best version of me – something I advise all my clients to do – to allow me to produce some great work in 2014. I spend my life inspiring and motivating others and I need to do that for myself, too.
I looked at my work project plan and thought this isn’t right for me; I gave myself permission to make the changes guilt-free. I wrote on a big piece of paper ‘THERE’S GOT TO BE AN EASIER WAY’ and started to think about how I could make my life a little easier but at the same time still be productive.
The realisation that I needed and wanted to make some adjustments was dealt with in a really positive way. Something I don’t think many people do, which is why I wanted to put a little blog together for you. I’m not feeling weak at the moment. I’m feeling strong and empowered that I stood up and said, ‘hang on a minute, what’s going on here?!’
In the five years leading up to having the twins I was working long, hard hours on growing Fit for a Princess, then I had the boys, (and a messy divorce!) and since then it’s all been one big work-kids juggle. I love my work and I love my children, but I knew that it was time for some ME focus again. What was I doing for me? Not as much as I could be that’s for sure!
I listened to some of my own webinars from Project Me and this quote taken from the first Project Me call inspired me to take this break and slow down.
In the event of an emergency, oxygen masks will drop from the cabin above. Please put the mask on yourself first before trying to help others!
If I’m not in a brilliant place, I’m no use to anyone and three weeks in to my adjustment and I think everyone is benefiting. ESPECIALLY me! I also realised I was putting a lot of pressure on myself and when I revisited more of my Project Me webinars on comparison and pressure, I felt relief that was able to be inspired (if by my own voice!) that sometimes women need to drop these and regain control.
I also listened to some of my Work-Life Balance calls – working out what you want and don’t want in your life are really powerful calls, as was revisiting my values and time-lining concepts. All designed to help my clients and me.
So what do you need to do?
Some of you will need to lose weight and take steps to becoming healthier. Will you regret not taking action in 10 years’ time when you’re bigger, even less fit, unwell, or worse?
Some of you will need to do what I did. Reflect, re-write your life path, rejuvenate and not feel bad about putting yourself first.
Some of you will need to stop working 60 hours a week doing a job you never wanted to do that pays for a big mortgage you could do without.
Whatever you need to do. DO IT before it’s too late!
We only have one life. Stop doing what doesn’t work and start doing what does work. Don’t feel that you’ve failed if you’re at a cross roads where you need to adjust your life, embrace it. Don’t bust your balls to keep up with the Jones’ when doing something isn’t authentic to you. Sometimes it takes a bigger person to say something isn’t working, than it does to plod on for 20 years living a life you didn’t plan on having, which I see a lot with my clients. If you don’t like something change it and if you can’t change it, change your mindset.
I feel so much better after a little time out. I’ve decided to work school hours four days a week for the rest of the year to allow me to have a slightly slower pace, give myself more time for my work projects, to support my boys as they transition into school. And best of all, I feel in control of me, my world and my work. More time to train, more time to see people and have fun, more time to create those happy memories with those important to me in my life. Best of all, I’m making everything work for me. I highly recommend it!
You are the boss of you own life. Never forget that.