10 ways to turn can’t into CAN!
“She turned her can’ts into cans and her dreams into plans”
As a mindset coach, something I love most about my work is seeing women turn their can’ts into cans and their dreams into plans!
This blog shares 10 ways you can start doing just that, so you can make some magic happen, whatever it is that you want.
Can’t is the stuck mindset, CAN is the growth mindset
Can’t is the place of problems, procrastination, stagnation, resistance, roadblocks, fear, doubt and worry – the contractive stuff that makes us shut down.
But CAN is the place of solutions, hope, vision, empowerment, bravery, productivity and positivity – the expansive things give us light and energy
Turning can’t into CAN really comes down to TWO main things
Better thoughts and more helpful beliefs
Power actions and solutions
The combination of these two things – whether what you want to achieve is related to your health, business or life in general – is literally where the magic happens!
There is a Japanese proverb… “The fish rots from the head”
When fish die, they rot from the head downwards. The analogy being that people bring down their own success, health and joy by the head (i.e. their thoughts and mindset) being the problem.
I teach my BEST:Business program clients that most small businesses fail and business dreams pushed aside because of what’s in their heads – NOT the actual business itself.
On my BEST program, oh my goodness, seeing people take command of their thoughts like never before is how they live their life in a totally different way. The difference between chaos, misery and stress… and joy, ease and empowerment – is all a head game!
MINDSET IS EVERYTHING. But we aren’t taught it.
And you need to get your head on your side, so it’s not rotting and taking you down. But instead thriving and lifting you up!
So here are 10 important things you need to consider if you’re wanting to turn your can’ts into CAN!
Because let me tell you this… whatever you want… it IS possible!
1 – Unhelpful thoughts are everywhere
Places you don’t even realise, more frequently than you could ever imagine, often under our conscious awareness
What are you telling yourself?
What’s that inner dialogue saying?
What’s the gremlin on your shoulder doing to you all day long?
“I’ll never be able to, it’s hard, she’s so much better than me, I’m rubbish, I don’t know how, I’m confused, I’m scared, what will others think of me, I’m letting people down, I’ve no confidence, I can’t…”
These are all examples of very powerful and NEGATIVE affirmations
And they build the unhelpful beliefs that tell you CAN’T do something
Start observing your thoughts and listening to what you’re telling yourself!
2 – You have to challenge the voice that you are listening to and what you’re focusing on!
I have a saying I use with all my clients…. “Be careful what you say doesn’t become a self-fulfilling prophecy!”
“I’ve no time, this is hard, no one will buy from me, this is a silly idea, I can’t say no to them, this is going to be difficult, I can never keep the weight off, fitness isn’t for me, I can’t set up a business right now…”
When you tell yourself these things and don’t challenge them, and you say them over and over again – they start to come true!
So switch up what you’re telling yourself.
Also remember to change the tone AND language of your voice
The difference between
“This is huge, I have no idea how to do this, there’s no way I can, it’s impossible, I’ll never make it work”
(The underlined are what we call dramatic and extreme language)
Is SO different from:
“You’ve got this, breathe, let’s find out, ask some questions from people who can help, you’ve got this, you can learn, it’s got to be possible, you just haven’t got what you want or the solution you need – YET”
The way I talk to myself is really helpful, supportive and kind – I encourage myself, push myself and have compassion for myself– this in itself is a major reason I have a CAN-DO attitude in all areas of my life 🙂
3 – Ask yourself what is the truth?
It’s the ‘fact V fiction push back’ that I use all the time!
Most women make so much crap up in their heads not only about themselves but about other women!
In business this is especially true, women compare themselves to other business owners and their businesses to other businesses and it makes them feel inadequate and keeps them in the can’t brigade.
Comparison is 100% a confidence and creativity killer. So please stop!
Firstly, no one compares like for like, so there’s a lot of mind mapping and assumptions.
Plus, most women compare their back of house with other people’s front of house.
Keep asking yourself “What’s the truth?” and “What do I ACTUALLY know is fact here?”
Women’s over thinking and fiction that they focus on are part of the “fish rotting from the head”.
And Impostor syndrome is more common than women realise – with women living in fear that they’re going to get find out that they’re winging it.
Listen up, we are all winging it!
Doesn’t mean you can’t make it happen – YOU CAN!
There are people who can prove that whatever you want CAN be done!
So focus on this!
Whenever I’m struggling, in my business, I look at people who’ve already done what I want to achieve
AND I LEARN!
I step into the identity…
I think “How did they do that?” and it makes me feel empowered, that I CAN do it.
I never think “Whys she got that and I haven’t?” and get bitter. Because this is a toxic and unhelpful mindset and keeps you in the CAN’T zone.
5 – Chunk things down and don’t make issues bigger than they need to be
When you make things bigger and scarier than they need to be, you will tell yourself these things and you’ll form the belief it will be horrible or impossible.
Chunk it down and make what I call ‘stepping stone’ goals.
When I look at what some of my BEST:Business crew did last year, it was by breaking the big stuff down, making things more manageable and tip-toe-ing from their comfort zone into the growth / inspired zone, NOT straight into the deep end.
The little things really add up and are at the core of turning can’t into CAN!
Also lighten up, have a sense of humour! Please, let’s smile more 🙂
If you make something more fun, you’re MUCH more likely to do it
In the moments where things feel difficult and dark, get your fun hat on!
6 – CAN is courage!
This is a quote I use in all areas of my life… “Keep going, keep trying, keep doing”
The CAN is to keep showing up, to be committed to a solution, to push through when things get hard.
To be brave, to push yourself a little, to think out the box and to step up.
But courage can also be much more subtle than most people think too.
One of my favourite quotes is…
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow”
– Mary Anne Radmarcher
Little things really DO add up!
7 – You’ve got to WANT to make something happen
And want to make it work, much MORE than you want it to fail
Remember that at ANYTIME you can walk away from a goal.
If you run a business, you can close your business tomorrow and bury your business dreams – anytime you want to.
Everything is a choice after all!
But if you want to make great things happen, you have to get serious about your goals, time, boundaries and choices.
Power actions are robbed by distractions.
Distractions are caused by a lack of clarity or motivation.
Lack of clarity and motivation comes from not really wanting something.
That’s why I teach all my clients to look at those magical and emotional WHYS – they are so important
And OMG you have to get out your own way!
I often give myself an imaginary slap round the face when I realise that I’m part of the problem!
8 – You need to be prepared to do things you don’t want to do
If everything was easy, everyone would do it right?!
Saying no more
Pulling yourself or your business through plot twist
Showing up when you can’t be bothered
Having conversations that fill you with fear
Dealing with other people’s opinions
Reframing your thoughts
Overriding unhelpful beliefs
Doing things you find difficult
Being on social media, making videos, selling
Pushing yourself through a fitness session
Making effort to create new habits
You have to work out how you CAN do these things!
And I know from working with women on all my programs..
“The MORE you do things you don’t want to, the LESS they are the things you don’t want to do!”
ASK QUESTIONS – Someone will know!
LEARN – We can ALL learn!
INVEST in yourself – OMG, in the times I’ve felt stuck with the “I CAN’T” mindset, I’ve put my hand in my pocket to get help. Whether with a coach, business courses, counseling… And they have all been worth their weight in gold.
Women are terrible at asking for help because they don’t like to be weak and worry what others think.
And they are terrible at investing in themselves because they convince themselves that other people are always more important or they don’t value themselves enough to put them first.
And many women (especially in the quick fix culture we live in), tell themselves that they don’t have the time or patience to find a way to CAN, especially if it doesn’t happen instantaneously.
Repeat after me…. Ask, learn and invest… and you’ll head into the CAN party with more support and it will be EASIER and more ENJOYABLE too!
10 – You need your tribe!
I think this is why people love my programs so much, because I have created a real tribe with my clients.
My client tribe means:
* Collaboration over competition and comparison
* Support and solutions over stress
* Camaraderie and team work over loneliness and lethargy
* A judgment free zone, where you can be yourself and you’re accepted as yourself – JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!
* Inspiration – the definition of inspire is “to breath life into”
Being part of a tribe is one of the biggest game changers for women and especially women who feel lonely in their world, bored with the grind and have a very strong negative voice that isn’t a voice of balance or reason.
And it’s especially important for small business owners that work alone.
One of my BEST:Business tribe said this week “It’s like all of a sudden, I’ve got colleagues!”
Having a tribe bridges so many gaps and your tribe become your team of cheerleaders who have your back no matter what – in my view that is priceless.
So if you have goals and dreams, but you’re stuck in the CAN’T jail, let me free you and your new tribe support you every step of the way!
BEST:Business starts on Monday 17th January 2022, please sign up via the box below
My BEST program – the ultimate mindset program for women also starts in January. To find out more about this life-changing and life-supporting program for women that has been described as “Teaching women to fly” and the “Ultimate life management program for any busy modern day woman”, click the button below.
Any questions, please let me know – always happy to have a quick chat on the phone if you’re unsure whether any of my courses are for you 🙂
Remember that you CAN do anything you want – get your thoughts on side and be brave with those power actions!